Thursday, May 1, 2014

Journal

This could be a short one, I'm tired and I've had maybe four beers which in this post baby world makes me feel like I've pulled a lost weekend bender.
    We hosted an art show today and went to an interview regarding co-operative housing. Did some shopping and the kid hardly slept. These things add up into a maelstrom of activity that wipes you out whatever your intention.
    We have help from friends great and near. We have support with kind words and deeds. We are surrounded by blessings in the form of these friends. They come and they pitch in and they ask for little in return if anything. The fellow who lives in the pirate ship next door, he shuffles and cough and chain smokes the cheapest cigarettes he can find. He hasn't slept in months, he's a wreck. I lent him twenty dollars today, his smoke supplier was here and he was broke. He smokes like a madman because he used to do drugs but doesn't now. This morning he tried to give me ten dollars for the few times I've lent him twoonies. He comes back later asking for twenty, he doesn't do this kind of thing, he tries to keep it all square. I gave him the twenty, says he'll come back tomorrow morning an pay me back. He just might.
    That's the day. Interview where my lady is in the hottest, getting her second language tested, is she good housing committee material. I'm in awe of her. She's using a whole new language to describe her experience. Who can do that ? Not everyone. I'm a proud man.
    The baby hasn't napped today. She's nursing him now so he'll drift off. Reading all the conflicting baby material will make you think science is bullshit. No one agrees about what to do with kids and sleep or kids and food. We have lost the thread but bad.
    Art show in our space. The friends come out and the friends of the friends. Candy is eaten and beer is drunk and here I am, keeping it short and disjointed. Just showing up to the office, I'm telling myself. It doesn't matter if what I'm churning our sucks or not, just do it.
    Outside, yahoos are screaming because hockey. Our team was leading then tied now what ? I don't care. I have to remind myself over and over again, I don't care what the sports team is doing even as I google results. I still need to know what my town is feeling tonight.
    That's my day. Not all of it, I've left out the part about coffee quick with a friend, about eating grapes and getting a sandwich with my love. The details are stacked upon each other. The baby is asleep now.